25 bits of advise to improving your screenplay:
1. A clear setting: when and where does this story take place? Lock that in on your very first slug line.
INT. CAFETEARIA SOUTH ESSEX COLLEGE - AFTERNOON
(in this order)
2. Describe that setting
When people read your script, they probably won't kn ow the environment you're talking about. Describe it in a couple of short, sharp sentences.
INT. CAFETERIA, SOUTH ESSEX COLLEGE - DAY Bustling, busy, full of fashionably dressed teenagers. Chrome and glass surfaces, gossip fills the air as students talk and eat.
3. Introducing characters
Throw in a couple of vivid details to make the reader picture the character in their head.
Kayla Frost, 19 - Stick-thin, looks like she might snap at any moment. Her Levi's might be faded, but her eyes burn fiercely from under a gothic mop of hair.
(If the character is mentioned for the first time it must be in capitals)
4. Naming your characters
Make sure each character's name is different, and looks different when written down.
Give each character a surname,too. If hey've only got a first name, this comes across as an incomplete identity.
5. Conflict, conflict, conflict
Not only should your screenplay be based on a wider conflict of some kind, but each character should also have internal conflicts that they are dealing with.
Doubts, insecurities, unfinished business. None of us glide through life without stuff boiling away inside, and your character shouldn't either.
6. She's filled with secrets.
Giving your characters secrets, whether big or small, enables you to pick away layers and keep your viewer interested along the way.
7. Keep it consistent.
Make sure that you keep your characters consistent in both background and behaviour.
If Dave is an ex-con with a violent past, make sure he acts that way when confronted by trouble.
8. Dialogue Stuff: Sentences.
People don't speak in complete sentences, nor do people all speak alike.
You need to let your characters dictate where the punctuation goes. Gaps, pauses, unfinished sentences.
Try recording people speaking and listening to it back.
9. Stay away from The Nose!
The phrase 'on the nose' refers to dialogue that states too clearly what a character is thinking without filtering it through their personality and agenda.
If Dave tells his closet friend "I want to be a policeman", chances are this won't play as well as having the application forms fall out of his gym bag might.
10. Keep it unpredictable
When Princess Leia tells Han Solo 'i love you' in The EMpire Strikes Back, the scene is most memorable for his response;
'I know'
You want dialogue to flow, but you need to rethink predictable exchanges. Throw away the first response you think of. Throw away the second one too. Maybe use the third.
11. Keep it varied
Does a character even need to respond verbally to statement?
If someone says 'Goodbye' to them, do they need to speak in return? Couldn't they wink instead?
Once again, predictability is your enemy.
12. First line
The first line your character speaks should sum up an aspect of their personality.
If you're introducing a party animal like Stifler from the American Pie series, his first line wouldn't be something mundane about being late for an appointment.
Your characters only get one chance to make a first impression, so make sure it packs a punch.
13. Language = life
make sure your characters' dialogue reflects their life experiences.
A 70 year old English professor won't speak the same way as a 25 year old football player.
A character born in 1960 will speak differently to one born in 1990.
Make their dialogue reflect this!
14. Double Hyphen
Has one character stepped on another's line? Cutting off before they finish speaking?
The traditional way to show this in a script is with a double hyphen.
WIFE
You know, i never told you--
HUSBAND
I don't want to hear it!
15. Fresh slang
Why not make up your own slang? Using the latest words, phrases and cultural references will date your script extremely quickly.
Writers like Joss Whedon make up their own phrases and drop those into the script ("What's the sitch?" meaning "What's going on?" originated in Buffy the Vampire Slayer).
AN audience won't know the difference between a slang phrase you've made up and one they've never heard before, but they'll certainly notice a dated turn of phrase. You dig, man?
16. Mix dialogue and action
In life stuff happens all at once. People don't stop talking because a bus is about to explode; the bus explodes whilst they're in mid-sentence.
Don't be afraid to have action and dialogue crash into each other, because things in real life don't happen in a neat order.
17. Don't tell me what I've what I've seen!
If Debbie's head just exploded, the viewer doesn't need Jamds to tell them; "My God, Debbies head just exploded!"
They gad already noticed. Eliminate dialogue that narrates the action.
18.No place for closed questions
If you've got a question which leads to a 'yes' or 'no' response in your dialogue, get rid of it.
They stop the dialogue dead, and the audience can anticipate the response.
Replace them with open questions, to let your characters personalities shine through.
19. Misunderstandings.
Characters should be misunderstood and misinterpret each other just as people do in real life.
It gives you great opportunities for conflict and comedy, plus it makes the dialogue read as more authentic.
20- Style stuff: present tense.
Always keep your action descriptions in the present tense.
Gaby chases Fred into the ice-cream shop not Gaby has chased Fred into the ice-cream shop.
You need to have the action unfold in the present as it unfolds on the page.
21. What not to include.
The action descriptions in your screenplay should not include: Thoughts, hopes, backstory, anything that can't be shown visually.
If you want to include these things, you need to show them through events or dialogue.
22. Keep it clear
"The Father of the bride, who ruins the pizza restaurant" os ambiguous.
Who sells the pizza?
The Father of the bride?
Compare it to "The Bride, who's father runs a pizza restaurant"
Keep it clear. The less ambiguity, the better.
23. OH MY GOD
Using ALL CAPITALS in your action descriptions signifies something important. It's a way of making the important elements pop when someone reads the script.
The whole building EXPLODES
Don't get carried away and end up with half of your action description in caps. Use it sparingly.
24. Keep it punchy
Break long sentences and keep the descriptions as vidid as you can.
Jennie is trying to keep her breathing under control as she walks across a tightrope? Sometimes fewer words work better.
Inhale. Exale. Jennie steps out.
25. Write it first, then edit it.
This script won't be as punchy, exciting and engaging as possible on the first draft.
Your mission on the first draft is just to get the thing written.
Second, third, fourth and fifth draft are the opportunity to make your screenplay everything it can be.
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